65 above zero:
Arizonans turn on the heat.
People in Upstate New
York plant gardens.

60 above zero:
Californians shiver
uncontrollably.
People in Upstate New York sunbathe.

50
above zero:
Italian & English cars won’t start.
People in
Upstate New York drive with the windows down.

40 above
zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool
hats.
People in Upstate New York throw on a flannel
shirt.

35 above zero:
New York city landlords finally turn
up the heat.
People in Upstate New York have the last cookout
before it gets cold.

20 above Zero:
People in Miami all
die.
Upstate New Yorkers close the
windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People
in Upstate New York get out their winter coats.

10 below
zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Upstate New
York are selling cookies door to door.

20 below
zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Upstate New
York let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:
Santa Claus
abandons the North Pole.
Upstate New Yorkers get upset because they
can’t start the snow-mobile.

40 below zero:
ALL atomic
motion stops.
People in Upstate New York start saying…’cold
enough fer ya?’

50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Upstate
New York public schools will open 2 hours late.