Mechanical Repair
After
your hands become
coated with grease, your nose will begin to
itch and you’ll have
to pee.
2. Law of Gravity
Any tool,
nut, bolt, screw,
when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible
corner.
3. Law of Probability
-The
probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the
stupidity of your act
-
If you
dial a wrong number,
you never get a busy signal and someone
always answers.(Especially
long distance!)
5. Law of
the Alibi
If you
tell the boss you were
late for work because you had a flat tire,
the very next morning
you will have a flat tire.
6. Variation Law -
If you
change lines (or
traffic lanes), the one you were in will
always move faster than
the one you are in now (works every
time).
7. Law of the Bath
– When
the body is fully immersed in water, the
telephone
rings.
8. Law of Close
Encounters
-The
probability of meeting someone you know
increases dramatically
when you are with someone you don’t want
to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result
try to prove to
someone that a machine won’t work, it
will.
10. Law of Biomechanics
-
The
severity of the itch is
inversely proportional to the
reach.
11. Law of the Theater and/Or any Arena
- At any event, the people whose seats are furthest
from the aisle, always
arrive last. They are the ones who will
leave their seats
several times to go for food, beer, or the
toilet and who leave
early before the end of the performance or
the game is over. The
folks in the aisle seats come early, never
move once, have long
gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the
bitter end of the
performance.The aisle people also are very
surly folk.
12. The Coffee Law
– As
soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask
you to do something which will last until the
coffee is
cold.
13. Murphy’s Law of Lockers
If there
are only two people
in a locker room, they will have adjacent
lockers
14. Law of Physical
Surfaces -
The
chances of an open-faced
jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor,
are directly
correlated to the newness and cost of the
carpet or rug.
15. Law of Logical Argument -
Anything is possible if you
don’t know what you are talking
about.
16. Brown’s Law of Physical
Appearance
clothes fit, they’re
ugly.
17. Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking
A closed
mouth gathers no
feet.
18. Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as
you find a product
that you really like, they will stop making
it.
If you
don’t feel well, make
an appointment to go to the doctor, by the
time you get there
you’ll feel better. But don’t make an
appointment, and you’ll stay
sick.
