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COLD IS A
RELATIVE THING.
65 above zero:
Arizonans turn on the heat.
People in Upstate New
York plant gardens.
60 above zero:
Californians shiver
uncontrollably.
People in Upstate New York sunbathe.
50
above zero:
Italian & English cars won’t start.
People in
Upstate New York drive with the windows down.
40 above
zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool
hats.
People in Upstate New York throw on a flannel
shirt.
35 above zero:
New York city landlords finally turn
up the heat.
People in Upstate New York have the last cookout
before it gets cold.
20 above Zero:
People in Miami all
die.
Upstate New Yorkers close the
windows.
Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People
in Upstate New York get out their winter coats.
10 below
zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Upstate New
York are selling cookies door to door.
20 below
zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Upstate New
York let the dogs sleep indoors.
30 below zero:
Santa Claus
abandons the North Pole.
Upstate New Yorkers get upset because they
can’t start the snow-mobile.
40 below zero:
ALL atomic
motion stops.
People in Upstate New York start saying…’cold
enough fer ya?’
50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Upstate
New York public schools will open 2 hours late.
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Universal Laws…
1. Law of
Mechanical Repair
After
your hands become
coated with grease, your nose will begin to
itch and you’ll have
to pee.
2. Law of Gravity
Any tool,
nut, bolt, screw,
when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible
corner.
3. Law of Probability
-The
probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the
stupidity of your act
4. Law of Random Numbers
-
If you
dial a wrong number,
you never get a busy signal and someone
always answers.(Especially
long distance!)
5. Law of
the Alibi
If you
tell the boss you were
late for work because you had a flat tire,
the very next morning
you will have a flat tire.
6. Variation Law -
If you
change lines (or
traffic lanes), the one you were in will
always move faster than
the one you are in now (works every
time).
7. Law of the Bath
– When
the body is fully immersed in water, the
telephone
rings.
8. Law of Close
Encounters
-The
probability of meeting someone you know
increases dramatically
when you are with someone you don’t want
to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result
When you
try to prove to
someone that a machine won’t work, it
will.
10. Law of Biomechanics
-
The
severity of the itch is
inversely proportional to the
reach.
11. Law of the Theater and/Or any Arena
- At any event, the people whose seats are furthest
from the aisle, always
arrive last. They are the ones who will
leave their seats
several times to go for food, beer, or the
toilet and who leave
early before the end of the performance or
the game is over. The
folks in the aisle seats come early, never
move once, have long
gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the
bitter end of the
performance.The aisle people also are very
surly folk.
12. The Coffee Law
– As
soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask
you to do something which will last until the
coffee is
cold.
13. Murphy’s Law of Lockers
If there
are only two people
in a locker room, they will have adjacent
lockers
14. Law of Physical
Surfaces -
The
chances of an open-faced
jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor,
are directly
correlated to the newness and cost of the
carpet or rug.
15. Law of Logical Argument -
Anything is possible if you
don’t know what you are talking
about.
16. Brown’s Law of Physical
Appearance If the
clothes fit, they’re
ugly.
17. Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking
A closed
mouth gathers no
feet.
18. Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as
you find a product
that you really like, they will stop making
it.
19. Doctors’ Law
If you
don’t feel well, make
an appointment to go to the doctor, by the
time you get there
you’ll feel better. But don’t make an
appointment, and you’ll stay
sick.
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Hi … we’ve all been posting lots on Facebook … if you’re not our friend yet, please become one! We have over 1,000 friends! On Facebook at “Sunny Syracuse” ……
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 Three Felons ACCORDING TO “SMOKING GUN” WEBSITE, THESE GUYS ARE REALLY THREE FELONS and these are their mug shots. … WHO WERE YOU THINKING THEY WERE?
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Not trying to be the food grinch right here in the middle of holiday eating, but now is the time to start THINKING of a sensible plan you want to follow for food choices next year. There are many web sites out there comparing the many different “diets.” It helps eliminate the guilt we are all exp…eriencing right now when we are at least THINKING about the change we plan to make. Successful projects demand a plan to follow. Start putting one in order now. Bunny Dimmel
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THIS 2009 HOLIDAY SEASON!
CHRISTMASTIME IN SYRACUSE VOL 15: GREATEST HITS!
BIG MIKE’S CHRISTMASTIME IN SYRACUSE (volume 15) 25 of our best from over the years: Benny Mardones, Todd Hobin, Grupo Pagan, Simplelife, Nancy Kelly, Ronnie Leigh, The Dean Brothers, Letizia, Doug Moncrief, Maria DeSantis, The Action!, Keith Condon, Swing Central, Kim Monroe, Dave Hanlon’s Cookbook, Donna Colton, Frenay & Lenin, Tamaralee, Dan Elliott, The Joe Whiting Band and more!!!!. It’s an amazing collection of the wonderful talent we have in our community and a true celebration of the Christmas season…on sale at P&C stores, proceeds benefit Elmcrest Children’s Center and Caseys Place.
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Freddy Crittela wrote “Christmastime In Syracuse” and he is one of our town’s best chefs … music and food! Perfect.
Don’t miss Fred Crittela’s Thanksgiving Benefit Roast Sunday, November 29th, 2-6 at the Palace Theater on James St. in Eastwood.
Fred has suffered with heart disease and congestive heart failure for more than 7 years and hopes to have a heart transplant.and is ineligible for prescription coverage. Join his family and friends in celebhrating the joys of his life and remembering the many ways he served his community throughout his career.There’ll be live music, delectable bites from the best chefs in Syracuse, raffles, special guests and Freddy gets roasted! Ticket/donation $20 at the door.
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Twas the Night after Christmas when all through the house
The toys from yesterday lay strewn about.
Most wrappings were stuffed in the trash bag with care
In hopes the trash man soon would be there
The children were all saddened by the broken toys
Left over yesterdays Christmas joys
The food museum was stuffed with the left over feast
Which nobody would partake of Mom liked that the least
When all of a sudden there arose such a clatter
All sprang from their chairs to see what was the matter
When what to their wondering eyes did appear
But a wonderfull singer who had no fear
His cheeks were like roses
His disposition quite cheery
As he explained to us all
That we should not be so weary
Twas Patrick you know
With his up-beat glow
Then said to us
With a HO HO HO
Let us all sing
Its time we all cheer
With Love in your heart
We can have Christmas all year
In his hands were some song books
In his lap a boom box
Twas tuned to SUNNY 102
On his feet were some sox
All gathered and joined in the song
It was quite remarkable
They all sang along
Although they have forgotten the Christmas feast
We know they will remember one thing at least
With joy in your heart and a song on your lips
You can face anything, That’s Patrick’s great tip
God Bless You Patrick
Keep on singing
Its never too early
For some Christmas Singing
………..Mark Dunning
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